What a crazy week! The hubby had to take a quick trip to the states for a week and the girls and I remained in Germany. A week is nothing to us. Chris has been gone for a solid year before...but for some reason, this week was extremely difficult on all of us. It was so long and tiring. Both girls did not sleep well, so neither did I.
After a sleepless night, I was finally able to take a nap on the couch while the baby was taking her nap. I.Passed.Out. and I rarely ever take a nap. It was the best nap ever because I dreamt of "Finn".
But that scares me...
I have guarded my heart and I'm trying to not set myself up for heartache. I don't want to romanticize my first meeting with "Finn". I want to go in there with no expectations but that is so difficult. The closer we get, the more I fall for that little boy.
In my dream, it went exactly as I would love for our first meeting to go. The nanny brought him to me and I reached my arms out for him and he leaned his small little body towards me to the point that he actually dove into my arms. I felt the weight of his little body as he wrapped his little arms around my neck. I remember peering into his sweet little almond shaped brown eyes and kissing those precious little round cheeks. He felt so wonderful in my arms. An instant love. The kind of love that a mother feels the moment that her newborn baby is placed in her arms after a long, hard labor. He is my son and I felt it. He is mine.
And that was all.
I have been praying that God will plant us in "Finn's" heart and that he will know us when we are finally able to meet him. I believe God can do this. My God can do anything! Can you please join me in praying that our "Finn" will know us and that he will come to us willingly? That he will feel safe with us and know that our love is real? Your prayers mean everything to us.
Thank you, God, for allowing me to have such a sweet dream. You know what I need, exactly when I need it!
To our son, we are coming for you! We are waiting on the invitation to be issued! We can't wait to meet you and I pray that we will make YOUR dreams come true!