Today has been a wonderful Sunday! Church, time with friends, a yard to play in, and the kids are completely tuckered out! Perfection!
This morning, I started trying to help Griffin learn to sign "bananas". His future PreK teacher told me to try to get more specific with his signs so we are starting with this one since he loves bananas so much. Within 10 minutes, he was using my hands to do the sign so I think we will have this one down in no time! Something about this sign cracks him up. He was hysterically laughing the whole time I was trying to show him how to do it. He is stinkin' cute!
After AWANA, we spent some time at our friends' home. What a great time we had! All of the neighborhood kids put on a show for the adults and they were just too funny. That was the best entertainment ever! Little G LOVED having a yard to play in and she didn't slow down at all. She played her little heart out. Once we leave this country, I will not settle on a house unless it has a yard. She needs this so badly! Griffin enjoyed a rocking horse that our friends bought just for him to have a safe place to play. He sat on it forever with a huge perma-smile and just rocked and bounced, as content as could be. I was particularly impressed with Little G's behavior! She was a little angel!
Anyway, I hope y'all are having a great Sunday!
Love and Hugs!
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
It's All About Poop.
So... I'm just gonna go there. The dirty side of toddler hood. The side that no one wants to hear about...or talk about...but it can't be avoided any longer. Just keepin' it real!
So when we first got Griffin home from the orphanage, he was very constipated. The poor little guy would go days without going. We had to give him enemas to help him out. Then the doctor put him on Miralax, one capful daily, and it turned his poop into diarrhea. Talk about a mess! And this was all happening during the time that we were having to collect stool samples to check for every parasite known to mankind. (He didn't have any, thank goodness!) How was I able to collect these samples? I taped a sandwich baggie over his behind so that it wouldn't soak into his diaper. I will never view sandwich bags the same way ever again.
The very first time I changed one of his poopy diapers, the smell of moth balls hit me like a wall! I was absolutely, positively certain that he had, at the very least, giardia, since that's very common in the water supply there. I was shocked to learn that he had nothing! So where was the smell of moth balls coming from? Even his breath had a very chemical smell to it.
Since then, I have learned that he has an overabundance of h-pylori, so I wonder if that's the cause of the smell. Honestly, the smell isn't as strong anymore and almost undetectable. His breath smells like "normal" breath now. Maybe it was the lack of nutrients that was causing the smell, who knows.
Well, we have regulated his poop so that he will go once a day, by giving him 1/2 capful of Miralax. We will keep up this regimen for the first year that he is home, hoping to retrain his colon to work properly and to repair the damage caused by impaction.
So, I'm totally going to gross you out right now, so skip on down if you don't want to read! Every time I change his poopy diaper, the smell can linger on my hands for an entire day! So if I change a dirty diaper every single day, my hands smell like poop every single day. It is G-R-O-S-S! Nothing turns my stomach like the smell of poop as I shovel down the first bite of my chips and salsa, which is my guilty pleasure when I put the kids down for a nap. YES, I literally scour my hands. I wash them a million times a day, use hand sanitizer, and the smell will still linger. You know how an onion will linger on your hands for days once you chop one up? Well, Griffin's poop does the same thing and is just as potent.
So what have I decided to do? As of today, I'm wearing medical gloves when he has a poopy diaper. I plan to buy a huge box of them tonight so that I will never have poopy hands again!
Bless his heart.
The kids and I went to the park today without the hubs. I have learned that this is an impossible task at this stage. There is just not enough of me to go around with these 2 toddlers! The minute I let Little G out of the stroller, she takes off to do something that is too dangerous. Every German playground has some type of dangerous element to it and that's the one thing she will go for. I will have to sit Griffin down on the ground and run to save her, only to come back and find Griffin with a mouthful of dirt, sand, or rocks. Griffin's OT suggested that Griffin play in sand, because it's something that he will surely not like to eat. WRONG. I thought, after the first mouthful, that he would realize that it doesn't taste good. After I got it cleaned out of his mouth, he reached down, grabbed another handful, and shoveled it right on in again. He was chewing on sand for the remainder of our time at the park. It was even caked between his teeth! Honestly, I believe he thought it was delicious. What does this have to do with poop? Well, the germaphobe side of me kicked in and the first thought that popped into my mind when that first handful of sand went in was, "Oh no! He's gonna get the worms!" (said in my thickest southern accent.) And well, that will turn into a poop issue. <sigh>
As we were walking home from the park, we have to pass through an area that is the stinkiest place in Germany, surely. There are horses along our walkway, and every time we pass through there, Little G will yell out, "EEEWWWWW! POO-POO! POO-POO!" over and over again until the stench is behind us. I agree, Little G. It is very EEEWWW! Those poor horses must have some serious bowel problems.
But anyway, that's about it for today. The hubs and I are going to go on a little date tonight. I'm sure the subject of poop will surely come up, at least once. :-)
Happy Saturday!
So when we first got Griffin home from the orphanage, he was very constipated. The poor little guy would go days without going. We had to give him enemas to help him out. Then the doctor put him on Miralax, one capful daily, and it turned his poop into diarrhea. Talk about a mess! And this was all happening during the time that we were having to collect stool samples to check for every parasite known to mankind. (He didn't have any, thank goodness!) How was I able to collect these samples? I taped a sandwich baggie over his behind so that it wouldn't soak into his diaper. I will never view sandwich bags the same way ever again.
The very first time I changed one of his poopy diapers, the smell of moth balls hit me like a wall! I was absolutely, positively certain that he had, at the very least, giardia, since that's very common in the water supply there. I was shocked to learn that he had nothing! So where was the smell of moth balls coming from? Even his breath had a very chemical smell to it.
Since then, I have learned that he has an overabundance of h-pylori, so I wonder if that's the cause of the smell. Honestly, the smell isn't as strong anymore and almost undetectable. His breath smells like "normal" breath now. Maybe it was the lack of nutrients that was causing the smell, who knows.
Well, we have regulated his poop so that he will go once a day, by giving him 1/2 capful of Miralax. We will keep up this regimen for the first year that he is home, hoping to retrain his colon to work properly and to repair the damage caused by impaction.
So, I'm totally going to gross you out right now, so skip on down if you don't want to read! Every time I change his poopy diaper, the smell can linger on my hands for an entire day! So if I change a dirty diaper every single day, my hands smell like poop every single day. It is G-R-O-S-S! Nothing turns my stomach like the smell of poop as I shovel down the first bite of my chips and salsa, which is my guilty pleasure when I put the kids down for a nap. YES, I literally scour my hands. I wash them a million times a day, use hand sanitizer, and the smell will still linger. You know how an onion will linger on your hands for days once you chop one up? Well, Griffin's poop does the same thing and is just as potent.
So what have I decided to do? As of today, I'm wearing medical gloves when he has a poopy diaper. I plan to buy a huge box of them tonight so that I will never have poopy hands again!
Bless his heart.
The kids and I went to the park today without the hubs. I have learned that this is an impossible task at this stage. There is just not enough of me to go around with these 2 toddlers! The minute I let Little G out of the stroller, she takes off to do something that is too dangerous. Every German playground has some type of dangerous element to it and that's the one thing she will go for. I will have to sit Griffin down on the ground and run to save her, only to come back and find Griffin with a mouthful of dirt, sand, or rocks. Griffin's OT suggested that Griffin play in sand, because it's something that he will surely not like to eat. WRONG. I thought, after the first mouthful, that he would realize that it doesn't taste good. After I got it cleaned out of his mouth, he reached down, grabbed another handful, and shoveled it right on in again. He was chewing on sand for the remainder of our time at the park. It was even caked between his teeth! Honestly, I believe he thought it was delicious. What does this have to do with poop? Well, the germaphobe side of me kicked in and the first thought that popped into my mind when that first handful of sand went in was, "Oh no! He's gonna get the worms!" (said in my thickest southern accent.) And well, that will turn into a poop issue. <sigh>
As we were walking home from the park, we have to pass through an area that is the stinkiest place in Germany, surely. There are horses along our walkway, and every time we pass through there, Little G will yell out, "EEEWWWWW! POO-POO! POO-POO!" over and over again until the stench is behind us. I agree, Little G. It is very EEEWWW! Those poor horses must have some serious bowel problems.
But anyway, that's about it for today. The hubs and I are going to go on a little date tonight. I'm sure the subject of poop will surely come up, at least once. :-)
Friday, September 28, 2012
First PreK Experience!
Today has been a marvelous day! When Griffin and I dropped Little G off at MDO (she went in like a champ!), we went to his school and spent the morning with his teacher and students. He loved every single minute of it. We arrived, checked in, and his little eyes just couldn't take it all in fast enough. The halls were decorated with art from all of the students and I could just see his little brain trying to take it all in. Our morning began with playtime in the gym. He loved the big open space so he just shuffled off, walked the width of the gym, turned around and headed back. Eventually, his eyes locked on a socket so he zoned into that for awhile. For a brief moment, he looked right at me across the way and acted like he was going to toddle over to me, but changed his mind. The teacher and speech therapist were hanging out with him and seemed genuinely happy to be able to work with Griffin. When the speech therapist saw him, she got excited and immediately started interacting with him for his assessment. She brought out a scooter for him to sit on and he took off! Next, we went to his classroom and had snack time. My son has now experienced do-nuts, of all things! Apparently this was a special snack and not a regular occurrence...but I'm proud to say that my little boy didn't even get excited over them. He ate them, signed for more, but when they were gone, he was finished. Basically, I had to just show them how he needs to be fed since he has a tendency to pack his mouth full, so they were taking notes. (Sorry for the quality of these iPhone pics. Better pictures on his official first day, I promise!)
This morning, as we were in a rush to get through breakfast, I glanced over at my FB and noticed that our base thrift store listed a wooden step stool that converts to a chair for only $20! I quickly went through Griffin's OT paperwork and found the order form for this same exact chair! It costs almost $300 brand new! I called the thrift store and they held it for us until Chris could pick it up. God totally lined that up for us, I believe. What are the odds of that exact chair, which is not a common thing to have in a household, being dropped off at our local thrift store? Thanks for saving us some money, God!
So, what's so special about this chair? Well, it allows Griffin's feet to be firmly planted on a board, and as he grows the board will be moved down until he is grown. Having his feet firmly planted improves his hand/eye coordination. I need to buy a harness for it before he's able to use it though. Guess how much that harness costs? 50 euro! So I am going to see if someone stateside can get one for us. Here's the link to the chair if you are interested.
But anyway, Griffin was on cloud 9 at his big boy school. Honestly, I don't think he wanted to leave! I hope y'all have a great weekend!
Love and Hugs!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Mr. Grumpy Pants
Today was actually better with Griffin's mood but he still isn't himself. He has been having a lot of sinus issues lately and it really began when he was prescribed daily allergy medicine to try to clear the fluid out of his ear. He may have had a cold, too, but my educated guess is that his sinuses have been blocked off for so long that the allergy medicine has reduced the swelling in his passages and everything is finally able to drain. Lots of junk and he has finally gotten use to the nasal bulb and will let me clear his nose out. Finally. Let me tell you, this boy can put up a great fight! Mommy always wins, though. :-) He actually smiled when I cleaned his nose out before bedtime tonight...I always praise him like crazy when it's over, so I think he was expecting his "BRAVO! GOOD, GOOD, GOOD!"
He only threw his sippy cup on the floor one time today! I have really been working on that and it may have finally clicked with him. WOO-HOO! I actually have a sippy cup leash that I have started using for Little G. I would use one with Griffin as well, but it's too distracting for him.
I noticed at dinner tonight, that Griffin is moving his food around much better with his tongue! I really feel that his muscle tone is improving in his mouth! Papa cooked him some chicken kabobs and he wasn't a fan. He ate every bite, however, it was a long slow process...so I was able to really watch him eat. I know that I need to get him to start using a straw sippy cup. However, this boy is stubborn and we had to search the world over for him to have the exact sippy cup spout that we had bought in his birth country. Changing him over is going to be very difficult. Finding motivation is going to be difficult because he's not a big drinker. A straw will strengthen the muscles in his mouth and prepare him for speech. I have a few tricks up my sleeve...I'm just not in a huge rush to start.
Tomorrow, while Little G is at Mother's Day Out, I will be taking Griffin to his PreK classroom! This is just a tryout for him to get the feel of his classroom and for his teacher to know how to prepare for him. He won't officially start until probably late October or early November. I was told that I could drop him off or stay with him. I'll be staying. :-) I have his Spiderman backpack all ready to go! It's actually bigger than he is! haha. And yeah, I will probably cry.
Please say a prayer for him! He actually loves being in his Sunday School class and acts like he wants to stay when I drop Little G off for Mother's Day Out, so I feel that he will love it! I just hope this class will be a great match for him.
I'll update tomorrow!
Goodnight from Germany!
He only threw his sippy cup on the floor one time today! I have really been working on that and it may have finally clicked with him. WOO-HOO! I actually have a sippy cup leash that I have started using for Little G. I would use one with Griffin as well, but it's too distracting for him.
I noticed at dinner tonight, that Griffin is moving his food around much better with his tongue! I really feel that his muscle tone is improving in his mouth! Papa cooked him some chicken kabobs and he wasn't a fan. He ate every bite, however, it was a long slow process...so I was able to really watch him eat. I know that I need to get him to start using a straw sippy cup. However, this boy is stubborn and we had to search the world over for him to have the exact sippy cup spout that we had bought in his birth country. Changing him over is going to be very difficult. Finding motivation is going to be difficult because he's not a big drinker. A straw will strengthen the muscles in his mouth and prepare him for speech. I have a few tricks up my sleeve...I'm just not in a huge rush to start.
Tomorrow, while Little G is at Mother's Day Out, I will be taking Griffin to his PreK classroom! This is just a tryout for him to get the feel of his classroom and for his teacher to know how to prepare for him. He won't officially start until probably late October or early November. I was told that I could drop him off or stay with him. I'll be staying. :-) I have his Spiderman backpack all ready to go! It's actually bigger than he is! haha. And yeah, I will probably cry.
Please say a prayer for him! He actually loves being in his Sunday School class and acts like he wants to stay when I drop Little G off for Mother's Day Out, so I feel that he will love it! I just hope this class will be a great match for him.
I'll update tomorrow!
Goodnight from Germany!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Zip Lock Bags of Toys=FUN!
Last night, I did something different with the toy area in our living room. I got a bunch of gallon size zip lock bags and put all of the small stuff in the bags. In one bag, I put all of the small animals, both stuffed and plastic, a couple of rattles, and bells. In another bag, I put all of the wooden puzzles pieces that always get misplaced. The next, I put all of our wooden blocks, along with the little cart that they go in. In another, I put the stacking rings and stand... so on. After breakfast, the Twinkies were both very interested in the way I sorted everything. They couldn't wait to get into the bags! Griffin was just kind of taking it all in but Little G was all about digging in. I paced her and made her play with one bag at a time and made her clean up each bag before she moved to the next. We had quality play time! It was fabulous! Griffin has played more than he has ever played. I bought Griffin 2 plastic dinosaurs before we even met him, took them to the orphanage, and he wouldn't so much as even touch one. Today, when Little G took them out of the bag, he picked one up and walked it on the floor! Then I took the other one and mimicked what he was doing. Next, he took interest in the wooden puzzles that Little G brought out. He was able to put together a 3 piece wooden puzzle with a little bit of assistance! So proud of him. Little G was able to stand all of the animals up on their feet. However, when one would fall, she would instantly bite her hand, or buckle backward and hit her head. <sigh> I would say "HELP!" and she would say, "hep", but she wasn't making the connection that I will definitely help her if she would just say that word! It's so hard to read her and I have zero time to try to prevent it because it happens in an instant.
I wasn't able to be here for speech therapy for Little G today because I had planned on taking Big G on a mommy/daughter date. We went to the library, to the sporting goods store to buy new ballet slippers, and then to Macaroni Grill with friends. We had a great time! Papa held down the fort back home and had a nice conversation with the speech therapist. She was very interested in hearing about Little G's behavior after both trips to the ER within about 2 weeks of each other (the first trip for a cut, the second one for her arm). Both times that she went to the ER, she was extremely well behaved. When she got home, she was tremendously happy, calm, snugly, just a totally different little girl. The speech therapist is going to talk to their occupational therapist to discuss these scenarios. She believes that Little G could be extremely routine oriented. Around July, she was in the ER for an extremely bad, out of the blue, ingrown toenail. So it was at that trip that she really learned what happens at the ER. That trip was difficult for her, but the next 2 trips weren't. So the ST thinks that she may find peace in those routines, even though the ER isn't a pleasant place to be, it meets some kind of sensory need. With all of this being said, I have a pretty good routine going on every day, so that can't be all of it. Wake up, bus stop, breakfast, dress, Sesame street or Signing Times, snack, play, lunch, nap, bus stop, snack, play/read/or outside, dinner, family time, bath time, bedtime. Some days we have appts so that may throw her off a bit.
Griffin just goes with the flow. He never wants for anything, except when Little G takes a toy away that he's playing with. He never asks for food. I wonder when he will start doing this? As you can see from our routine, I make sure he has plenty of food since he has the food frustrations, but eventually, I would like to see how he lets me know that he's hungry.
I have noticed that Griffin is singing "la la la" to his orphanage song that he loves. It is actually pretty much on tune and I can definitely recognize the melody!
Anyway, that's about all that's gone on here today. I just want to thank all of you for your prayers and encouragement for our future. We appreciate all of you so much! God bless y'all!
Love and Hugs!
PS. Griffin LOVES spinach!
I wasn't able to be here for speech therapy for Little G today because I had planned on taking Big G on a mommy/daughter date. We went to the library, to the sporting goods store to buy new ballet slippers, and then to Macaroni Grill with friends. We had a great time! Papa held down the fort back home and had a nice conversation with the speech therapist. She was very interested in hearing about Little G's behavior after both trips to the ER within about 2 weeks of each other (the first trip for a cut, the second one for her arm). Both times that she went to the ER, she was extremely well behaved. When she got home, she was tremendously happy, calm, snugly, just a totally different little girl. The speech therapist is going to talk to their occupational therapist to discuss these scenarios. She believes that Little G could be extremely routine oriented. Around July, she was in the ER for an extremely bad, out of the blue, ingrown toenail. So it was at that trip that she really learned what happens at the ER. That trip was difficult for her, but the next 2 trips weren't. So the ST thinks that she may find peace in those routines, even though the ER isn't a pleasant place to be, it meets some kind of sensory need. With all of this being said, I have a pretty good routine going on every day, so that can't be all of it. Wake up, bus stop, breakfast, dress, Sesame street or Signing Times, snack, play, lunch, nap, bus stop, snack, play/read/or outside, dinner, family time, bath time, bedtime. Some days we have appts so that may throw her off a bit.
Griffin just goes with the flow. He never wants for anything, except when Little G takes a toy away that he's playing with. He never asks for food. I wonder when he will start doing this? As you can see from our routine, I make sure he has plenty of food since he has the food frustrations, but eventually, I would like to see how he lets me know that he's hungry.
I have noticed that Griffin is singing "la la la" to his orphanage song that he loves. It is actually pretty much on tune and I can definitely recognize the melody!
Anyway, that's about all that's gone on here today. I just want to thank all of you for your prayers and encouragement for our future. We appreciate all of you so much! God bless y'all!
Love and Hugs!
PS. Griffin LOVES spinach!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Decisions...
Chris's View-
I have been in a battle.
As many of ya'll know, I have been in a battle against... well, myself. In October 2010, my body started attacking itself. It started with a sore ankle. When I say sore, I mean I couldn't put any weight on it. It eventually spread to both ankles, both knees, both wrists, my right elbow and the lower left side of my back. The best way I have found to describe the pain to doctors and people who inquire about my pain is with this illustration. You know when a car window breaks and the little odd shaped bits of safety glass are everywhere? Well, when you walk on the pile of it, they grind together and make the hair on the back of your neck stand up... yes, that's what it is like. When the pain is at it's worst in my elbow and wrists, it's hard to grip a 1/2 gallon carton of milk without using both hands.
What is wrong with me? Well, your guess is as good as the doctors who "practice" medicine at the clinic... yes, that license definitely says "to PRACTICE" medicine. They tested me for everything from Parvo (yes, humans can get Parvo too) to Lyme disease to numerous off they wall conditions. I honestly was opting to go meet Dr. House and have him kill me for 20 seconds to find out exactly what is wrong with me! They finally settled on early degenerative osteoarthritis. But what does this mean? Well, it meant that it was time for the military to decide if I was fit to continue serving. Last week, the results came back.
The military found that my condition has caused me to become unfit to continue for 3 1/2 more years in the Air Force... 3 1/2 more years till my 20 years and my outright retirement. So, what does this mean for me and my family? Well, there are some good things and some bad things.
1. The military has offered a retirement... a Temporary Retirement... which is about as weird as it sounds, with a ton of rules and restrictions that still leaves my family's future in jeopardy. I have to fight for permanent retirement.
2. The way the wording was on the Medical Board's findings opened a door to possibly get my Master Sergeant promotion back. I may not get to wear it that long, but I earned that stripe. There's something about being denied something you know you deserve. I will have to fight for it, but honestly, what do I have to lose right now? I'm no more a Master Sergeant now than I would be if they told me no again.
3. Hurt pride. Yes, pride... I know we are not supposed to be prideful, but I committed to doing 20 years and a day, and it is a punch to the gut to not be able to achieve that goal. It was something that I had decided almost 7 years ago when I surpassed that pivotal 10 year point. If you noticed with 1 & 2 above, it was something I had to fight for. Honestly, I am done fighting. We have fought as a family to try to get the military to help me, but to no avail. There's only so much fighting you can do until you are too tired. I totally understand & sympathize with Lance Armstrong here... when fighting becomes your sole focus, you really lose a lot of your life.
4. I have never known real work outside the military. Yeah, I held some jobs... cleaning fence rows at South Mississippi Electric Power Association in Purvis, praying I wouldn't get bit by a rattlesnake. Gas station attendant at Big K in Purvis, which oddly enough prepped me pretty well to be a day shift F-15 Strike Eagle maintainer! I worked at the Library in Poplarville, MS, as a work study student, which actually prepped me pretty well for all the reading & regulations & military doctrine I'd face in ATC & Combat Airspace. Oh yeah, then there was the stint as a stock handler at Poplarville Stockyard... uh, something about 2000lb crazy bulls running down a 10 foot wide lane wanting to kill you... the running of the bulls has nothing on some of them crazy cattle! Needless to say, no real work experience that I can fall back on there.
5. I have zero clue on how to negotiate a salary. I realize how unprepared the military makes you for civilian life. Yes, they have what they call TAP (Transition Assistance Program), which is required by Federal law, but really, 5 or 10 days to teach you how to assimilate into civilian life... not quite sure how far you can get. It's much like the episodes with the Borg in Star Trek... "Resistance is futile!" "You will be assimilated!" On a side note... don't tell our friend, Holden, that I just totally geeked out with Star Trek reference... I think he'd have a coronary, then proceed to talk my ear off about all things Sci-Fi that I know nothing of! LOL!
6. In the past nearly 17 years, I have had to commit 0.0 seconds worth of brain power toward what I will wear to work each day. Blues, BDUs/ABUs, or PT Gear... pretty easy when your entire wardrobe for work consists of 3 outfits. I have no professional attire, other than the shirt, tie & khaki's I bought to bust Griffin out of the orphanage. Guess who has 2 thumbs and needs to go shopping?
7. I have learned that many people do not know the meaning of stress. Lots of folks generally think that since I am an air traffic controller, that I handle stress well. Yes, I can talk to a pattern full of aircraft and get them to fall into place like an 8 year-old geek with a Rubik's Cube, but when faced with the inevitable loss of a job that pays for 100% of your medical bills and your house, stress takes on a whole new meaning. I know I will find a job that will take care of the bills, but anyone who says it doesn't weigh on their minds is lying to themselves.
Tomorrow, at 2pm, I have to make a decision that could affect my family's future for quite some time. I have to decide to accept the Temporary Retirement, and all it's restrictions, or to opt to fly to San Antonio to once again enter the fray and fight for the Permanent Retirement which I feel I have earned and deserve due to the condition that was aggravated by my service to our great country. Yes, I will be going to fight for what I think is right. I will be fighting a battle on two fronts... for my rank and for my retirement... but more importantly, I'm going to go fight tooth & nail for my family and for the security of our future!
Please keep me & my family in your prayers during this time. It won't be easy, but I know God has a bigger plan for us... Here we are Lord, send us! (Isaiah 6:8)
Maria's View-
I'm married to an amazing man and I love him. <3
God will provide!
I have been in a battle.
As many of ya'll know, I have been in a battle against... well, myself. In October 2010, my body started attacking itself. It started with a sore ankle. When I say sore, I mean I couldn't put any weight on it. It eventually spread to both ankles, both knees, both wrists, my right elbow and the lower left side of my back. The best way I have found to describe the pain to doctors and people who inquire about my pain is with this illustration. You know when a car window breaks and the little odd shaped bits of safety glass are everywhere? Well, when you walk on the pile of it, they grind together and make the hair on the back of your neck stand up... yes, that's what it is like. When the pain is at it's worst in my elbow and wrists, it's hard to grip a 1/2 gallon carton of milk without using both hands.
What is wrong with me? Well, your guess is as good as the doctors who "practice" medicine at the clinic... yes, that license definitely says "to PRACTICE" medicine. They tested me for everything from Parvo (yes, humans can get Parvo too) to Lyme disease to numerous off they wall conditions. I honestly was opting to go meet Dr. House and have him kill me for 20 seconds to find out exactly what is wrong with me! They finally settled on early degenerative osteoarthritis. But what does this mean? Well, it meant that it was time for the military to decide if I was fit to continue serving. Last week, the results came back.
The military found that my condition has caused me to become unfit to continue for 3 1/2 more years in the Air Force... 3 1/2 more years till my 20 years and my outright retirement. So, what does this mean for me and my family? Well, there are some good things and some bad things.
1. The military has offered a retirement... a Temporary Retirement... which is about as weird as it sounds, with a ton of rules and restrictions that still leaves my family's future in jeopardy. I have to fight for permanent retirement.
2. The way the wording was on the Medical Board's findings opened a door to possibly get my Master Sergeant promotion back. I may not get to wear it that long, but I earned that stripe. There's something about being denied something you know you deserve. I will have to fight for it, but honestly, what do I have to lose right now? I'm no more a Master Sergeant now than I would be if they told me no again.
3. Hurt pride. Yes, pride... I know we are not supposed to be prideful, but I committed to doing 20 years and a day, and it is a punch to the gut to not be able to achieve that goal. It was something that I had decided almost 7 years ago when I surpassed that pivotal 10 year point. If you noticed with 1 & 2 above, it was something I had to fight for. Honestly, I am done fighting. We have fought as a family to try to get the military to help me, but to no avail. There's only so much fighting you can do until you are too tired. I totally understand & sympathize with Lance Armstrong here... when fighting becomes your sole focus, you really lose a lot of your life.
4. I have never known real work outside the military. Yeah, I held some jobs... cleaning fence rows at South Mississippi Electric Power Association in Purvis, praying I wouldn't get bit by a rattlesnake. Gas station attendant at Big K in Purvis, which oddly enough prepped me pretty well to be a day shift F-15 Strike Eagle maintainer! I worked at the Library in Poplarville, MS, as a work study student, which actually prepped me pretty well for all the reading & regulations & military doctrine I'd face in ATC & Combat Airspace. Oh yeah, then there was the stint as a stock handler at Poplarville Stockyard... uh, something about 2000lb crazy bulls running down a 10 foot wide lane wanting to kill you... the running of the bulls has nothing on some of them crazy cattle! Needless to say, no real work experience that I can fall back on there.
5. I have zero clue on how to negotiate a salary. I realize how unprepared the military makes you for civilian life. Yes, they have what they call TAP (Transition Assistance Program), which is required by Federal law, but really, 5 or 10 days to teach you how to assimilate into civilian life... not quite sure how far you can get. It's much like the episodes with the Borg in Star Trek... "Resistance is futile!" "You will be assimilated!" On a side note... don't tell our friend, Holden, that I just totally geeked out with Star Trek reference... I think he'd have a coronary, then proceed to talk my ear off about all things Sci-Fi that I know nothing of! LOL!
6. In the past nearly 17 years, I have had to commit 0.0 seconds worth of brain power toward what I will wear to work each day. Blues, BDUs/ABUs, or PT Gear... pretty easy when your entire wardrobe for work consists of 3 outfits. I have no professional attire, other than the shirt, tie & khaki's I bought to bust Griffin out of the orphanage. Guess who has 2 thumbs and needs to go shopping?
7. I have learned that many people do not know the meaning of stress. Lots of folks generally think that since I am an air traffic controller, that I handle stress well. Yes, I can talk to a pattern full of aircraft and get them to fall into place like an 8 year-old geek with a Rubik's Cube, but when faced with the inevitable loss of a job that pays for 100% of your medical bills and your house, stress takes on a whole new meaning. I know I will find a job that will take care of the bills, but anyone who says it doesn't weigh on their minds is lying to themselves.
Tomorrow, at 2pm, I have to make a decision that could affect my family's future for quite some time. I have to decide to accept the Temporary Retirement, and all it's restrictions, or to opt to fly to San Antonio to once again enter the fray and fight for the Permanent Retirement which I feel I have earned and deserve due to the condition that was aggravated by my service to our great country. Yes, I will be going to fight for what I think is right. I will be fighting a battle on two fronts... for my rank and for my retirement... but more importantly, I'm going to go fight tooth & nail for my family and for the security of our future!
Please keep me & my family in your prayers during this time. It won't be easy, but I know God has a bigger plan for us... Here we are Lord, send us! (Isaiah 6:8)
Maria's View-
I'm married to an amazing man and I love him. <3
God will provide!
Monday, September 24, 2012
What A Morning...
Well, today was a stressful day. I'm not gonna lie. It all began with trying to get to the bus stop on time. I had to have the little ones completely ready, clothes, breakfast, etc. so that we could leave after getting home from the bus stop. Both of them have their OT appts at 0900 but I had to pick my husband up because he dropped his truck off at the shop. So I did pretty well with getting everyone ready on time. However, we were pushing it to the last minute. So I rushed to get them in the double stroller and Big G opened up the garage door and that's when I noticed that it was pouring rain. I have no rain cover for our double stroller (yet) and I had no time to transfer the little ones to the van because that would surely make us miss the bus. I suppose I could have just taken Big G on to school. Oh well, hindsight. ANYWAY. So we did what we had to do and got drenched. Big G had her umbrella so she was fine. After we got home, I had to redress the 3 of us and then headed back downstairs. I put Griffin in the play yard in the garage and buckled Big G into her car seat...went back for Griffin and strapped him in. About that time, a semi-truck pulled behind me. (I have been parking in the street because the landlord is doing work on the front of our house. We are parking exactly where the landlord said we could park and it was confirmed by the police.) There was no oncoming traffic so he could have sailed around me with no problems. He throws his truck in park, gets out, and approaches me. Ok... about this time, I had already had enough and I honestly thought to myself, "bring it!" He immediately started talking to me in German but I could tell it was about where I was parked. I asked him in German to speak English to me and he shook his head, "no". So I motioned to my van and he nodded yes. I then said, "UMMM NO, I DON'T THINK SO! (I then pointed to my van and the street) Landlord said YES! POLICE SAID YES!" I was standing there in the rain, strapping my son into the van and he is going to tell me to move my van?! Well, he left pretty quickly. He may have heard the word "police" and thought I was threatening him. lol. I don't know. I noticed my landlady standing out on the balcony. So I ran over to her and motioned in my crazy, ticked off charades, that the man who just left told me I couldn't park there. My landlady is a very smiley person so she just smiled and waved. I believe she was telling me not to worry about it. So I jumped in my van and started pulling away when I looked in my rear view mirror and saw her chasing after me! So she got to my window and I think she was trying to tell me that I can absolutely park in the street and to not worry about it. I'm pretty sure she's feeling my stress about all of the work they are doing on the house. It's really an inconvenience to me and she's never seen the stressed out Maria before. I'm human... <sigh>. Language barriers are hard. The whole time I was talking to the man on the curb, I kept trying to blurt out Russian words. I'm one confused American. LOL
OT went great for the little ones. Both of them did their very best and had a great time. He is just so impressed that Griffin is as active and determined as he is. He just never slows down. However, it's a very slow pace of exploration. He just shuffles around from thing to thing. He may try to crawl up onto something so that may take a while or he may struggle to climb up the PT slide backward. Something that I thought was funny...he started tossing foam blocks at Griffin to work on his reflexes. Griffin absolutely love it! The blocks would lightly bump into his face, he would flinch appropriately, but he would double over in laughter. I think we will have lots of pillow fights in our future!
Also, Griffin did some hand motions for "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star!" YAY!
Anyway, it was nice having the hubby off today to help out with the OT appts but he's back to work tomorrow though. Looking forward to his retirement! LOL.
Love and Hugs!
OT went great for the little ones. Both of them did their very best and had a great time. He is just so impressed that Griffin is as active and determined as he is. He just never slows down. However, it's a very slow pace of exploration. He just shuffles around from thing to thing. He may try to crawl up onto something so that may take a while or he may struggle to climb up the PT slide backward. Something that I thought was funny...he started tossing foam blocks at Griffin to work on his reflexes. Griffin absolutely love it! The blocks would lightly bump into his face, he would flinch appropriately, but he would double over in laughter. I think we will have lots of pillow fights in our future!
Also, Griffin did some hand motions for "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star!" YAY!
Anyway, it was nice having the hubby off today to help out with the OT appts but he's back to work tomorrow though. Looking forward to his retirement! LOL.
Love and Hugs!
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