Well, I'm pretty sure that all of you know that I miss my girls like CRAZY. It's no secret, for sure. I miss them more than words can say... but to just give a shout out to some military moms that I know, Suzanne, Elena, and Sharon, y'all are amazing. I don't know how you could be away from your babies for 6+ months and stay sane!
Last night, as I fell asleep, I prayed and asked God why? Why do the delays have to happen to us? Why do I have to be away from my girls on Mother's Day? I threw myself a pretty good pity party... Is it okay to ask God why? I feel pretty sure that it is...When we ask God why, we open ourselves up to receiving an answer.
This morning, as I woke up, the first thought on my mind was <sigh>, it's Mother's Day. I selfishly asked God to please provide me some sort of SOMETHING to just get me through the day. Please God, just let something significant happen. And He provided.
We showed up for our morning visit on this beautiful sunny day. As we approached the orphanage, the cottonwood blooms were just all over the ground, almost appearing like snow. We made our way inside, but noticed that both of Griffin's nannies were outside. We thought that perhaps the nannies were with another groupa today but we were wrong. All of the children were by themselves in their room. We turned to see the nanny following us quickly down the hallway to the groupa so we stepped aside and she motioned for us to come in. We looked past her and there was our little dude sitting on the potty chair in the doorway. He turned to look at us and fell off, his little naked rump was all in the air. We called out to him, "whoa, DUDE!" and he smiled. The nanny rushed over to pick his little self up and dressed him to go outside. Several others were still sitting on the potties and judging by the little marks on their behinds, it appeared that they had been sitting there awhile.
The nanny handed him over to us and we made our way outside, but not before Dr. Candy (remember her?) stopped us. She motioned to Chris that he had red eyes. Chris always has reddish blood shot eyes. Always. I quickly spoke up that it was allergies and made a cartoonish blooming tree with hand motions... I would rather her think that he has allergies, rather than a cold or worse! So she understood and said a word that sounded a lot like 'allergies' and walked away. As we made our way out, she stopped us again and handed Chris a piece of paper that had a medicine written on it for his "allergies". Chris doesn't actually have allergies, y'all, but now I feel that we are obligated to try this medicine to see if we can get the red out!! oh well.
We made our way out to the play shed. Dude was pretty active today and dove right into the toy box. He had his usual things that he plays with but today, we found a 'new' toy in the toy box. We found one of those stacking ring sets and he went to town with it. He knew just what to do, all on his own. So proud of him. After that, he went back to his usual toy that he enjoys. It's actually a piece of a toy, round, and cage-like. He stood up, Chris and I watched in amazement as he took 2 steps independently while holding his toy! However, he fell on the toy and hurt his nose pretty bad. I rushed over to check him out and he instantly started crying. (see the video) Y'all, he was crying uncontrollably in physical pain, the first time we have ever witnessed this. I scooped him up in my arms, and here is where God showed up. Griffin let me comfort him.
I cradled him in my arms and repeated over and over that everything is okay, don't cry, I love you, as he held his little hand over his hurting nose. I could instantly see a red spot forming. He wouldn't let go of his nose. He cried for a good 5 minutes and I just held him and reassured him until he stopped.
Many orphans don't react this way. He didn't push me away and it wasn't awkward at all. It was a perfect moment shared between a mother and a son, at his expense, sadly, but still, Mommy was there.
I asked God over and over yesterday, why, why, why are we STILL here... everyone has passed us up with court dates... some have come after us and have already left... but it became so evident to me in that moment that Griffin has done more this week than ever with his relationship with us. He has blossomed. He has started walking more...he slides on the slide and laughs as he does it...he wants to be thrown into the air and expects it if he makes independent steps for us, he is babbling more, AND he let me comfort him. If we had left sooner, we would have missed all of this.
We are still hoping and praying that we can have court on Tuesday or Wednesday but that can only happen if we get that signed paper from his birth mother. If she would only sign it, it would be one of the best Mother's Day Gifts ever.
I will remember this Mother's Day forever. I have been greatly blessed with three beautiful children here on earth...and two more are in Heaven waiting for me. Blessed. So very, very blessed. There is nothing sweeter and more precious than the love of a child.
To my G's, I love you more than words can say! Thank you so much for making me a mother. <<HUG>> <<HUG>> <<HUG>>
Homesick - adj, \'hōm-,sik\ - longing for home or family while absent from them.
That is the best word to describe us right now. It's the obvious things, like missing Big G & Little G, but it is also the small things. I miss waking up on Saturday mornings to take Big G to ballet. I miss coming home from work in the evenings and seeing Little G's enormous smile, or hearing the pitter-patter of her tiny feet as her they slap the tile when she rounds the couch to see me. I miss our bed, not simply because my back is killing me, but I miss our girls being able to get in the bed with us and Big G pushing me out of the bed when she sleeps with us! Yes, all of these things... and more.
For years, I have been homesick. We went to Germany, as some of ya'll recall, after a year of me being in Korea. Yeah, I got to come home to Mississippi on a mid tour and I came home to collect Maria & Big G before we left, but I miss things there that those trips just couldn't provide. I miss Saki's in Ocean Springs... thanks Michelle for reminding me how much I miss it! LOL! I miss family reunions, like the one Maria's family had last weekend. I miss being able to go to the beach, even if it is the dirty Mississippi Gulf waters. I miss being able to go grab fresh seafood on the pier in Gulfport or D'Iberville. I miss the Tato-nut & the Shed and those places will always remind me of Ocean Springs, long after they go away (and yes, I'm praying they never do!). I miss get togethers with friends.
These feelings always seem to hit us hardest on holidays. This holiday is pretty odd for me, it's the first time I have had my wife away from the family with me, on a holiday that is designed for the family. I remember growing up that the women in my family would get catered to on this day. My grandmother would always get a pretty corsage to wear to church, and everyone would be on their best behavior... which is a big thing for those of ya'll who know my family! LOL! It was all about taking the burden off my granny. I usually do something special for Maria on Mother's Day, but this one was kind of ho-hum. I couldn't fix her a big breakfast, as the things to cook are hard to come by. I couldn't take her to a fancy lunch, since we are limited to just a couple restaurants... in fact, I let her choose and she chose what Big G would have picked, so we had a McMother's Day! I decided to fix her a good dinner though... shrimp po-boys on a fresh, sesame covered, loaf of french bread. That reminds us of home! At least it's a little taste (pun intended) of home when we are stuck so far away.
Happy Mother's Day Ya'll!
See ya'll tomorrow!
ps. hey, this is Maria... I just broke the news to Chris that The Shed burned down. He's heartbroken! lol