Monday, April 9, 2012

Where is He?

So, as I was having my breakfast this morning, I thought to myself that I should write this blog really quick while my Little G is still sleeping...then it hit me that she is no longer with me but with my mother in MS.  She is doing very well, though, and enjoying all of the attention she is getting.  I'm so thankful for that!  Sacrifice.

I had to get on the airplane at 6AM on Sat. morning.  I was actually looking forward to all of the alone time in the sky so that I could have a huge long talk with God.  But it didn't really work out that way. 

He's giving me the silent treatment.

Of all times, why does He have to do this now?

I NEED Him now more than ever.

Instead of having my "talking" time with God, I had to settle on reflecting on how He is orchestrating all of the events around me.  I can still SEE how He is working everything out for us but I just can't hear Him.  I can normally hear a gentle whisper to my soul when I ask a question.  I can normally feel His comfort and guidance.  But right now, all I have is events:

My little G is doing much better than anyone expected.  She isn't crying for me.  I skyped with her and she put on a great show for me.  I love that little girl!  She is sleeping and eating well for my family and that is a God thing.

I was able to fly business class all the way to Germany, thanks to 2 awesome friends who were able to get me these tickets for less than half the cost of flying coach.  God has blessed me with amazing friends.  A God thing.

I was able to see my BFF, who is currently going through an adoption of a little boy with Ds as well.  She was passing through my mother's city and was able to spend the night with me and then continue to her family's house the next day.  God KNEW that I needed this time with her and He orchestrated that.  He made sure that I was in MS at the very same time as her and gave her the words that I needed to hear.  A God thing.

As I was flying home to Germany, I was able to witness the most beautiful sunrise on Easter morning as close to Heaven as possible.  I was able to see his beautiful masterpiece and I'm sure He painted the sky just for me.  A God thing.

I'm still in AWE of how well my children are being cared for while I have been away and for when I will be in "Finn's" country. God has blessed me with family and friends who love my daughters and love our soon to be son.  They want "Finn" to have a home so badly that they will do whatever it takes to help me with my girls.  So very blessed.  They are amazing.  Even though it's very painful for me to have to leave my girls behind, God is providing loving homes for them.  And yes, it's a God thing.

Although, I'm feeling that we are having to sacrifice a lot... and that my girls are taking the brunt of the sacrifice by having to stay behind, it's nothing in comparison to the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for us on the cross.  I'm doing my best to keep my eyes on the big picture.  Things may not go as I feel they should go, but God knows.  And I know that I can trust Him.

We are all being well cared for... and although I can't hear Him right now, I know He's still here.  I'm certain that He's trying to teach me something right now so I will be open to whatever it is.

Please pray for us!

Love and hugs!!

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