Tuesday, September 4, 2012

My Kids/Her Kids!

Chris's View:

Okay, as promised, I am back again to detail for ya'll, the events of my day with the two littles while Maria & Big G were off gallivanting around Disneyland Paris!

The day started pretty rough to be completely honest.  To really get it, I have to go back to the night prior.  <Insert cheesy flashback music & wavy fade out here>  It was a miracle, Armed Forces Network... the satellite provider for US Military stationed overseas... was showing the Southern Miss vs. Nebraska football game.  It's rare I get to see the Golden Eagles play at all since I have been stationed overseas.  Literally, this would be the 5th time, and one of those shouldn't count, as it was "time-compressed" version, meaning it was like 40 minutes long with no extra camera shots of huddles or changing sides or anything like that.  Anyway, I was excited, being as this was the first game of the season.  I was getting to see opening day, and it was awesome... it didn't even matter that they were outmatched, I was getting to see USM play.  Well, they hung in there, but then fell apart in the second half, so I fell asleep in the recliner a little angry.  <Insert cheesy flashback music & wavy fade back to present time here>

Maria and Big G had to leave super early the next morning.  I heard them leave, but didn't think anything of it, till 5 something in the morning, screams start coming over the baby monitor.  Griffin was screaming wanting me to come get him.  Ugh!  It's too early for all this!  Usually he'll sleep for a little longer in the mornings, but this morning, he wasn't having any of it.  I went up to get him before he woke up Little G.  Light was flooding into the upstairs from all the windows.

See, we usually close every door on the upper floor, except his door.  He has a glass door to his bedroom, so, obviously, it wouldn't help!  LOL!  Anyway, Big G forgot to shut her door this morning, and our bedroom door was open, cause we both slept downstairs the night prior.  So, he was up due to the sunlight... oh and the kicker, it looked like he dumped a 20 oz. bottle of water on himself!  UGH!  Not a good way to start the morning.  So, I take him downstairs & get his soaking wet clothes off of him while the hot water is heating.  I put a temporary diaper on him and let him play with a couple toys on the bathroom floor while the water heated for a few minutes.  I tested it and at full blast hot on the faucet, it is warm enough to get him in the tub.  He got about 2 1/2"-3" of water in the tub before it goes cold.  I think to myself, "That'll do... he's washing, not swimming!"

I put him in the tub and quickly wash the urine off his entire body.  When I say entire body, I mean ENTIRE BODY... from head to toe he was covered in urine!  Yuck!  As I am rinsing out his wet clothes in the sink, I hear the sound no parent wants to hear in the bathtub... blub, blub, blub.  Then the odor hit me... UGH!  REALLY!?!?! 


***This next part is gross, but it needs to be here in the interest of full disclosure, so if you want to skip the gross part, go ahead to the next paragraph, you won't miss anything, promise!***
He pooped in the tub.  Well, since he has gotten on a half dose of Miralax, his poos have been very paste-like.  The stick and they stink!  And this is now what was stuck to the bottom of the tub!  At least it didn't stick to him this time... still slick with soap hiney I guess.  So, I divert my attention back to him and grab the removable shower nozzle.  I check the water temp and clean his hands, arms & lower half and pull him out and get him dried off and a diaper on him & threw him into his high chair with his milk.  Then I grabbed the 409 & scrub brush and scoured the tub like there was no tomorrow!  Afterward, I got him dressed and gave him a snack.  I let him play I went and got my Little G and gave her breakfast.  She was doing great, so I took and put her in the tub.  I walk out to check on Griffin, I let him snack a little.  I hear a blood curdling scream.  I rush into the bathroom to see Little G in a panic, scooting away from one end of the tub.  I'm thinking a spider or something fell in... NOPE!  POO!  What is with Maria's children today?!?!  ;)  (Yeah, they are mine when they are good, hers when they aren't so good!  LOL!  Kidding, I love my kiddos all the time!)  Now, Little G has NEVER had an accident in the tub, unlike Griffin who has had several.  I have to pause here to say, if I had the accident on par with her accident, I would have been scared of it too... yes, it was "man-sized"!  She made 4 logs in the tub... hey, at least it wasn't sticking to the bottom, right?!?!  I rescue her and hold her above the tub in one arm while the water drains.  I then carefully remove the elusive corn-backed brown trout, rescour the tub, & spray it out with scalding hot water.  By this time my arm is Jello!  I finally get to put her down and wash her off.  The funny thing is, even though I knew from her reaction that she wouldn't have touched the contaminated water, I still had to scrub her hands & arms again, as well as her lower body.

Okay, sorry for the grossness, you just missed both kids waking up and getting baths, but having accidents in the tub.  Something good did come out of it... Little G now knows the word "poo-poo", so hopefully it'll help us get her potty trained!  Anyway, I finally get both kiddos dressed and into the living room, and they go right at each other.  They decided to fight over the school bus today.  :(  I was hoping Maria's kids would at least be friendly this morning.  Nope!  I had to laugh at one point though.  Griffin had the bus, and of course Little G wanted it.  She was melting down over it.  He abandoned it to go into the big moving box that has become their playhouse.  The little diva went right over, grabbed the bus, then began to climb over Griffin to the back of the box, dragging the bus across his face.  It was like she was taunting him with the bus and the fact that she was able to have the bus in the box, like she was daring him to do or say anything about it!  It was cute, albeit a little mean.

I fixed them lunch, Dinty Moore Salisbury Steak & Potatoes.  My kids LOVED it!  (See, they were being good here, so they were mine!)  It was awesome, cause I got 15 minutes of peace & quite!  LOL!  After lunch, I let them brush teeth and then put them down for naps.  They must have needed it, cause they slept solid till 4:45.  When I got them up, I fed them and then we had to run some errands... mainly to find their Occupational Therapist office for Maria.  So, we loaded up and took off.  We found the place, after we circled around for like 30 minutes trying to find #4 School House Road.  Maria's kids were screaming, and throwing their toys and such.  Not a pleasant drive to town!  The numbers on the buildings weren't obvious, so I had to actually circle around this one way street area for a little bit until I could confirm EXACTLY which building it was.  Look, I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I am definitely not a stupid husband!  With Maria coming off an overnight bus trip, then having to get up super early to get all the kids ready and to a 9:00 appointment, I know better than to give half, or even worse wrong, information!  I do not have a death wish!  ;)  Afterward, the wild animals Maria's kids had started calming down and becoming my kids again, so we headed to the BX, just to stay out of the house for a bit... we were starting to get cabin fever!

The BX was pretty crowded... it was the dreaded double whammy... a holiday & pay day weekend.  I had my kids in the bigger double stroller we have, but I was being corralled.  I would want to walk down one aisle, but was forced to go two aisles over cause they were all crowded.  I wanted to get us a new bedding set and surprise Maria, but that didn't happen... I couldn't even look at the bedding.  I was able to get an ice cream scoop (ours started leaving grey streaks on top of ice cream) and a stick of deodorant (trust me, you want me to have this!).  It took us a little over an hour to walk through the BX one time.  That was all we could take.  My kids were excellent in the store... Griffin wanted to grab everything he could off the lower shelves.  I finally had to put his arm behind him in the stroller... to which he immediately pulled his arm out and began grabbing everything again.  Oh well.

We got home and I got my Griffin ready for bed, while Maria's Little G melted down... I guess she just wanted her mommy.  I finally got them all in bed and cleaned the house.  We clean it every night, so if you ever come at dinner, expect to see something straight out of the Katrina documentary!

I hope ya'll enjoyed a glimpse into our day.  I kid, I really loved hanging out with OUR kiddos all day.  I miss so much of their lives being at work so much.  I am fortunate though, I have not had to deploy in 4 years... my longest stretch of my career without a deployment.  Not to mention, the place I work now is one of the finest group of people I have had the opportunity to work with, and we really try our best to take care each other.  They have really taken care of me since we got back with Griffin.  The whole process chewed up an enormous amount of leave time, so the fact that we have taken care of each other at work, has facilitated some additional bonding time with Griffin, and reattachment to Big & Little G.

See ya'll later!


  1. Oh, I had to cover my face with a pillow I was laughing so loud. Did you at least have coffee before your tub emergencies? Oh my.
    And then circling, circling with the sirens in the van with you... Oh my.
    Thanks for sharing your day!


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